iKnow
by rwrocksme
Summary: Carly finds out about Sam and Freddie's kiss. Maybe she could give their romance a little push?
1. Spencer's Theory

My name is Carly Shay...creator of iCarly. And (pardon the pun) iKnow.

I have two best friends in the whole wide world...Sam and Freddie. She calls him Fredward. He hates it. He hates _her_. And, up until recently, she hated him. Or so we all thought.

***

It was Spencer who figured it out. After iCarly rehearalls, my brother made spaghetti tacos and we all ate dinner together. Then, Ms. Benson (Freddie's insainely over-protective mother) came in, grabbed him by the ear, and drug him into their apartment across the hall for a tick bath. After that, Sam (remember, we just had dinner) went down the street for deli meat.

"Oh my god oh my god ohmygod!!!" Spencer yelled, jumping up and down, and pointing towards the door.

"What?'" I laughed. Spencer can get excited over everything.

"They KISSED! Sam and Freddie kissed!"

"No," I said, shaking my head, "That's impossible."

"It's true! I feel it in my socks."

Of course, knowing my friends, I brushed it off as one of Spencer's silly theories. But the next day at school, things changed. I was walking towards my locker, about to turn the corner into the hall, when I heard something. It was Sam's voice. _That's odd,_ I thought. _Sam is never early for school. _

"I thought we _agreed _to keep this a secret, Benson."

I heard Freddie's voice next. "I don't want anyone to know either. But it is eating me alive!"

"Oh, so you're ashamed of kissing me?" There was a bit of hurt in Sam's voice.

"No! I thought you...we agreed...you just said! What are we going to do?"

By this time, I was watching through a little hole in the wall. Sam said nothing, and just stood there, giving him the "I'm going to kill you" look that she was so good at. Then, she made a sudden movement. I expected to see Freddie on the floor with a broken nose--I even braced myself for the bang. But it never came. Instead, she kissed him, right on the lips.

"End of discussion, Fredward."

"But that wasn't even..." Freddie said. But she had already stormed off. He gave a sigh, and then a small, barely there smile appeared on his face.


	2. Spencer's Sculpture

I really don't know how I contained myself (and my secret) all day at school. But when I got home, I was free. I didn't even bother to take the elevator up to the apartment. I just ran up as fast as I could and unlocked the apartment as fast as I could. Spencer was working on his newest sculpture--a life-size Michael Phelps, made entirely out of rubber ducks.

"Spencer, you were RIGHT!!!'" I yelled, "They did kiss! I don't know when, but they did, and I saw them kiss AGAIN."

"The socks know ALL."

***

When I came back down later for dinner, the semi-aquatic Olympian was gone. In it's place was a wooden base, with two big piles on it. One pile was of old electronics (including a video camera), and the other was made up of beef jerky.

"What are you making now?" I asked.

"A rendering of Sam and Freddie kissing! Sam is the meat."

"You can't do that! They don't want anyone to know."

Spencer put on his grumpy face. "Fine. I'll go get the duckies."

The door opened, and Sam came in. "Hey!"

"Hey Sam," I said.

"COOL! Is that beef?" she asked, pointing at the pile of jerky.

"Yes," I sighed, "Help yourself."

Freddie came in next. "Oh!" he exclaimed, "Electronic equipment!"

Soon they were both on the floor, picking through the geeky and the jerky. "Sam," I said, "Don't eat too much of that, Spencer is using that stuff for a sculpture."

"What kind of sculpture?" She asked, her mouth full of beef.

"It's of you and Freddie. You're the food, he's the equipment."

Freddie looked up, puzzled. "Why is Spencer sculpting the two of us...without you?"

_Oh. No. _I thought. _I am in SO MUCH trouble! _


	3. Freddie's Sam

I tried as quickly as I could to cover it up. "I don't know. Spencer makes weird things all of the time. I think it's got something to do with his socks. They have an electrical current, you know."

They seemed to take that as a good enough answer. We rehearsed for iCarly, including our newest segment, "Sculpting Moose Out Of Soap!" Then, during a break, I suddenly had to "go to the bathroom." That's Carly-speak for, "mess with other people's lives." They picked up with their earlier conversation, as if there had been no break.

"So, uh, WHY did you leave me hanging earlier? Freddie asked.

"I did not leave you hanging. I ended the conversation. That's why I said, 'end of discussion.'"

"And then you kissed me." Freddie reminded her.

"Well, yeah. How else was I going to shut you up?"

I shook my head. Sam has plenty of ways to shut Freddie up.

"Well, usually you hit me."

"Would you rather have me hit you than kiss you?" Sam asked. There was that hurt again.

"No...I like the kissing a lot more than the hitting."

She punched him in the arm, softer than normal. "That's my Fredward."

"That's my Sam."

Freddie went and pressed the elevator button. "You coming?"

"Nah. I'm not taking an elevator with your germs on it."

"Allright. Bye."

The doors closed and Freddie was gone. Sam sat down in the big bean bag chair, and started talking to herself under her breath. "_His _Sam. His Sam."

And then she smiled.


	4. Carly's Plan

I knew that this was something I should keep a secret. And it wasn't like I was going to put it on iCarly, or anything. But something had to be done. They were in _love._ It gave me the giggles. Who knew?

So I called a meeting. It was just Spencer, Gibby, and I. Spencer made cookies. Gibby brought Moca-Cola. I brought a mallet.

I hit the table with the mallet and the meeting began. "First order of business," I said, "The sculpture. Spencer, it has to go."

"Why?"

"Because I let it slip that it was going to be of them and now they think something's up."

"Fine." Spencer huffed, "But I get to keep the jerky in the living room. I like it there."

"Okay," I sighed, "Second, I have a plan."

"What's the plan?" Gibby asked.

I called Gibby because he'll do just about anything you ask him to. He likes to dance on tables without his shirt on. He also went to Build-A-Bra with Sam once. So I figured he could help me out here.

"You have to hit Sam." I said.

"What???" he exclaimed.

"Freddie will defend her, they'll start being nice to each other, and bada-bing bada-boom, they'll have to admit that they kissed...and LIKED it!"

"But I don't want Freddie to hit me!" Gibby cried.

"Would you rather have Sam hit you or Freddie?"

"Good point."

"It's set, then. Tomorrow during free period...it all goes down."


	5. Gibby's Speach

I was so proud of my plan, although I'll admit that I was nervous. I wasn't sure that Gibby would follow though. But when we walked out of sixth period that day, I saw him looking at himself in his locker mirror, moving his lips. The movements spelled out, "You can do it, Gibby." When both Sam and Freddie were in the locker area, I gave him the thumbs up, and he marched right up to Sam.

"Hey, Gilbert." Sam said.

"My name is Gibby! All my life, you have made fun of me, you have humiliated me, and you don't care. And I won't take it anymore! " Gibby yelled.

Now, everyone was watching. Freddie actually had a little grin on his face (she had, after all, done the same to him), but I was hoping that would end. Gibby was doing great. He'd made up the rant all by himself.

Gibby finished up his speech. "I am Gibby, hear me ROAR!!!" And then, he punched her in the face.

I have never seen Freddie move so fast in his life. It was over so quicky--Sam's nose was bleeding, Freddie's hand was made into a fist, and Gibby had turned to run. Freddie didn't chase him. Instead, he wrapped his arm around Sam, ever so gently, and lead her to the nurse.

***

I followed them into the nurse's office. They knew I was there, but they acted like they were all alone.

"Are you okay?" Freddie asked, once the blood had stopped flowing.

"Yeah," she replied, "But I don't know what came over Gibby."

"Me neither," I lied.

Sam got an almost pensive look on her face. "I have a newfound respect for that boy..."


	6. Sam's Smoothies

The next day, it was like nothing had happened. I was sitting with Sam, talking about meat (her choice of topic, not mine) when she suddenly looked at her cell phone's clock and stood up to leave.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"I'm gonna go get a smoothie."

"Why don't you just make one here?"

"Eh, I'm in the mood for coconut."

"We have coconut.

"Apple, then."

"Got it."

"Guava?"

"Fine, I said, "Let's go get some smoothies."

"Why don't you stay here?" Sam asked, "I'll pick up whatever you want."

"But I don't know what I want yet." I replied.

"We'll look up the menu on their website."

Before I could protest, the phone rang. When I answered it, Spencer's friend Socko was on the line.

"Hi, Mr. Socko, I said, "Spencer isn't here right now, but I'll have him call you later."

Socko started yelling into the phone. "NO! YOU WILL NOT HANG UP ON ME! I'M LONELY AND I WANT TO TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT SOCKS !"

I turned around to tell Sam that I was stuck here, and to go on without me, but she was already gone.

***

"Mom! Let me go!" Freddie yelled, pulling his arm from his mother's grasp.

"Get back here, Fredward! I am not letting you leave the house before you get your daily lice check."

"But I don't have lice," Freddie whined.

"We can't know that for sure unless we check."

"_Fine." _

She picked through his hair, seemingly one teeny, tiny hair at a time. Finally, she took off her rubber gloves. "You don't have lice!"

"I _know._" Freddie said, "Bye mom."

"Be careful, Fredward!"

He went downstairs and crossed the busy Seattle street to the smoothie shop. She was already there, in a booth back in the corner. He came over to her.

"Sorry I'm late. Extended lice check."

"I'm actually glad you're late," Sam said, "It took me forever to convince Carly not to tag along."

There was a silence. Neither of them knew what to say.

"You've kissed me twice in three days." Freddie said.

"You've kissed me once, plus protected me from Gibby."

"That's no big deal."

"True. Although, I think I've gotten him over to the Dark Side."

They both laughed at the picture in their heads--Gibby wearing a Darth Vader mask. And then they looked at each other, The laughter stopped.

"I don't know how to end this," Sam said, "Tiptoeing around it is getting weird."

"Well," Freddie said, "Maybe we shouldn't fight it."

"But I thought we were going to pretend it never happened and go back to hating each other."

"Do you really want to go back to hating each other?" Freddie asked.

"No," Sam admitted.

"Neither do I."

This time, they both leaned in, at the same time. It wasn't their first kiss; it wasn't even their first kiss with each other. But it was the start of something special.


	7. Carly's Discomfort

After I (finally) got off of the phone with Socko, I started thinking. Sure, I saw them kiss. But maybe I was wrong about them liking each other. Freddie hadn't run after Gibby. And Sam was still calling Freddie names...Fredward, Fredweird, and Geek-Butt, to name a few. Maybe it was all in my head.

Besides. Having the two of them together might get weird. We'd still do iCarly together, and hang out, but then they'd be off doing their boyfriend and girlfriend stuff. And even though it was exciting the other day, I really don't want to see them making out all the time. Just like I don't like watching Spencer trim his arm hairs. It's gross.

But I still want them to be happy. Hopefully, this was all a fluke.

***

INSTANT MESSAG: START TIME 10:42 PM

cantbeatmeat: hey

fivefourthree2: hey yourself

cantbeatmeat: so, um, i was thinking... what about carly?

fivefourthree2: what do u mean?

cantbeatmeat: what are we going to tell her

fivefourthree2: well, i was thinking....to not tell her

cantbeatmeat: why?

fivefourthree2: well, she might think it was weird. what if u saw carly and i kissing?

cantbeatmeat: i'd kill her

fivefourthree2: i mean, if u didnt like me

cantbeatmeat: i would puke

fivefourthree2: exactly

cantbeatmeat: but shes my bff...i tell her evrything

fivefourthree2: well...let's just wait and see what happens

cantbeatmeat: what might happen?

fivefourthree2: we might make up our minds to tell her

cantbeatmeat: fine with me

fivefourthree2: gr8

cantbeatmeat: bye fredweird

fivefourrthree2: bye sam


	8. Gibby's Letter

_My name is Gibby. Two days ago, I turned the world as I know it upside down. See, there's this girl at my school named Sam Puckket. She's mean to everybody, but I'm at the top of her tourture list. But a few days ago, during free period, I yelled at her and punched her in the face. Now I see why she likes it. _

_Of course, the whole thing was part of my friend Carly's plan to set up Sam with another friend of ours, Freddie. They had kissed, but they know Carly knew. So she was trying to egg them on. _

_But, it did not work, and Carly has yet to come up with another plan. So, I am taking matters into my own hands. I figure that if Sam has someone to love her, she could move away from her violent tendinces. _

_So I wrote her a note, and put it in her locker:_

**Dear Sam, **

**I hit you because I am madly in love with you. Please meet me at the smoothie shop tomorrow after school. My heart burns for you with the fire of a thousand suns!**

**Love, **

**Gibby **


	9. Spencer's Sculpture Returns

"Carly!" Spencer yelled, "Come down here!"

"Coming!" I replied. I ran down the stairs and he led me into the small hallway that leads to the bathroom. And there it was. My two best friends, side by side, composed entirely of jerky and batteries.

"But wait!" Spencer exclaimed. "There's more!"

He pushed the two figures together, and they both lit up like Christmas trees. "They brighten each other's lives!" Spencer grinned.

"Spencer! I told you not to go ahead with the sculpture!"

"I had to! Their great secret love inspired my inner artist."

"Spencer, your artist is everywhere, and, apparently, it has no self-control." I sighed. He looked at the sculpture, and then looked at me, with THAT LOOK. "What?" I asked.

"This isn't about the statue," He said, with his hand on his chin, "It's something more. I have a hunch that something about this makes you very uncomfortable. But ,my hunch doesn't know what it is."

"Spencer," I said, "You're crazy."

But he wasn't listening to me.

_Oh my god, _Spencer thought, _Carly loves Freddie!_

On my way out the door, I looked back at him. "And no, I'm not in love with Freddie."

"Oh."


	10. Freddie's Locker

After the out-of-control artist incident, I left for school. I had a lot of time to think about the situation. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if they were boyfriend and girlfriend. I couldn't imagine Sam being involved with public displays of affection. She certainely didn't like to watch other people's.

But it turned out that I didn't need to worry. When I got to school, Freddie was standing at his locker, staring inside. And he looked mad. Very mad.

"Hey mister grumpy gills," I said, "Why the angry face?"

"Look," He said, pointing to his locker. The walls were covered in mustard. And I don't mean yellow mustard. I mean that really gross smelly mustard. The kind my grandpa in Yackama puts on his brautwurst.

Sam walked up to us. "What up my homie?" She asked. Then she looked at Freddie, "And you."

"Well," Freddie said, "I'd be a lot better if my locker was not covered in condiments."

_Thank god, _I thought. _They're being mean to each other._

So then Sam put her finger into the locker and ate some of the mustard off the side.

"Ewww!" I cried. Freddie just shook his head.

"I think it's time for class," I said, trying to get them away from each other.

And then Sam pulled out the offending mustard and squirted Freddie in the face with it. And then he flicked some of it on her. And then I left.

***

Freddie and Sam stayed behind for a bit, and waited until Carly was gone.

"I suppose that when you said you weren't going to stop messing with me, you meant it?" Freddie asked.

"Nope. That would be too weird."

"True."

The warning bell rang. They both turned to leave for class, without a kiss. But before he left, Freddie turned around.

"I noticed the mustard heart in my locker, by the way."

"I'm not all evil, Benson."


	11. Sam's Lobster

_A/N: The beginning of this chapter is the same as the beginning of iKiss. _

Freddie burst through the door of our apartment. "Is Sam here?"

"No, why?"

He came in and locked the dead bolt on the door. "I played another prank on her!"

I rolled my eyes. "Do you have some kind of freakish death wish?"

"I can't help it, Carly."

"So what did you do?" I asked, a little afraid to hear the answer.

"I put a lobster in her locker."

"A WHAT?"

"A live lobster. Went to the Blue Lobster, put my hand into the tank, and ran."

"Wow," I said, "Stealing _and _pranking Sam? You're a regular delinquent."

There was a loud _chink,_ and suddenly Sam was inside, holding the lobster. It was huge. I had never seen a lobster so big.

"What the heck, Fredward? You didn't even tie the claws, this thing could have killed me!"

"My locker smells like an old hot dog!"

"Good! You are such a weenie!"

I shook my head. "Hey, who wants lemonade?" I asked.

"CARLY!" Spencer shouted from the other room, "Help me! My foot is stuck in the washing machine!"

"Stay here," I ordered, "And everyone better be alive when I come back."

***

Carly left the room, and it was just Sam and Freddie.

"I thought I was the one who pulled the pranks," Sam said.

"That was not a prank," Freddie smiled, "That was a gift."

"A lobster?"

"Well, I figured you wouldn't be a puppy person. Plus, you're my lobster."

"I'm your lobster?" Sam asked.

"Your lobster is the person you're meant to be with," Freddie explained, "Plus, I think it's a good analogy for you. You're tough. Your face gets red when you're angry."

"Thanks," Sam said sarcastically.

***

I came back into the room, and Sam was holding the lobster. "Carly," She asked, "Can I have some rope?"

"Um..sure," I replied, "What for?"

"I think I'll keep the lobster. He might be a good sidekick, you know. For evil deeds. A lobster can't get detention for pinching someone."

"Okay..." I replied.

"And I'm going to name him Fredweird."


	12. Sam's Plan

The next time I looked in my locker, there were no animals, or condiments, or weird gooey stuff. There was just a note. _Dear Sam, _it read. For a second, my heart skipped a beat. Maybe it was from Freddie.

_Crap, _I thought. _I'm all sentimental. _

But it wasn't from Freddie. It was a love note, however--from GIBBY. Telling me to meet him after school at Groovy Smoothie. That was the most horrible thing I'd ever heard of. Gibby? In LOVE with me? I thought I was going to throw up.

Then I had a thought. It was a joke. It HAD to be a joke.

I was going to kick some serious Gibby butt.

Gilbert. Gil-butt. _Good start, _I applauded myself.

Carly and Freddie came up to my locker.

"Hey Sam!" Carly said.

"Hello, Samantha." Freddie said. He was good at the whole cover-up thing. Unlike his mom, with the whole Santa thing.

_Freddie went to see Santa! _I thought. The inside of my head laughed.

"Hello, Fredork." I replied, "Hey Carly."

And then Gibby came up to us. I really, really wanted to hit him. Or, at least, insult him. Call him Gil-butt. Something. But I _knew _I could come up with something bigger and better. I was going to get him so good.

***

After iCarly rehearsal, Sam followed me into the elevator. She said she wanted to "talk." _Uh oh_, I thought. The last time my mom wanted to talk, she thought wanted to put me in rehab for a bagel addiction.

"Gibby left a note in my locker," She said.

"Okay..." I replied. I was not in trouble. Whew!

"He says he's in love with me."

"Ew."

"I know. But I think it's a prank. So...and trust me, I never thought I'd say this...I need your help."

"Ok. What's the plan?"

She leaned in and whispered the plan into my ear. I swallowed really hard. On one hand, I was so nervous about her being that close to me (I was just getting used to this). But mostly....I was very afraid of the plan.


	13. Freddie's Dress

_I cannot believe this, _I thought. _I am wearing a dress. _

Sam's plan was to actually meet Gibby. FIne. Okay. But she decided to have me dress up as her and meet him. She ditched math class to get me a costume. It consisted of the blonde wig we used for iCarly, a red dress, makeup, an incredibly tacky necklace....and a bra.

***

_Oh my god, _I thought. _Freddie is wearing a bra. _

Yes, I know I like him. And yes, the kisses are...sigh, the kisses. But I'm still me. I couldn't help laughing. Freddie dressed up as a girl? Priceless. Freddie dressing up as a girl to help me with a prank? Kind of sweet...but mostly weird.

When we got to the shop, Gibby was already there. He was in the corner booth, looking out the window. Smiling. _Well, _I thought, looking at him _That grin has got to go. _

_***_

Sam sent me to Gibby's table. The moment I sat down, Gibby started to talk.

"Sam," He began, "I know you hate me. You hate everyone. But despite that hate, I love you. I can't not love you. So I thought, maybe you could try and look through the hate and love me back."

And then, I guess, Gibby actually took a moment to look at me.

"Eewww!" He cried, "Freddie!"

"She made me do it."

"What we do for love," Gibby mumbled under his breath.

"Excuse me?" I asked.

"Well, see...and please don't hate me..." Gibby began, "Carly knows about the kiss."

"What?" I yelled, "How?"

"Spencer told her."

"How did Spencer know?"

"He felt it in his socks," Gibby explained, "So then Carly made me hit Sam, so you would defend her, but it didn't work, so I came up with this plan because I didn't want Carly to have another plan where I could get hurt."

"How would you pretending to be in love with Sam get us together?" I asked.

"I don't actually know," Gibby admitted.

"Please keep pretending you don't know," I asked, "This is really new for us, and it's hard enough without everyone bothering us. And we don't want Carly to be uncomfortable."

Gibby nodded, "Fine. But Sam better not hit me ever again."

I laughed, "And you don't care about insults?"

"Sam not insulting me?" Gibby asked, "That would be too strange."

So I got up from the table and went back to the bathroom to get into boy's clothes. When I looked back, there was Gibby, dancing on the table. With, of course, no shirt.


	14. Sam's Hurt

She hated school. She'd always hated school. But for some reason, she hadn't dropped out. She wanted to be with her friends, for one. The big thing was, though, teasing everyone. Physically harming some of them. No one hurt her. She was in charge. Gibby, she had convinced herself by Friday afternoon, had been a fluke.

***

So I was going to my locker. Well, actually, I was going to Freddie's locker. I'd made him a cupcake...Sam style. That meant that amidst all of the chocolate chips and rainbow sprinkles, there was pepper--and a few red hot peppers.

But the sprinkles were hearts. So it was okay.

"So what's plan B?" I heard Carly ask.

"Um...I don't think we need another plan," Gil-butt's voice replied.

"Why not?"

"Because Sam and Freddie don't like each other. I went on a date with Sam the other day."

_Oh my god, _I thought. _He actually thought it was me? This is even better than I thought!_

"Besides," Gibby replied, "Freddie says he hates her."

Ow. That hurt. That really, really hurt. He was playing with my mind. He didn't want to go back to hating me...because he had _always _hated me. _You will not cry, _I told myself, _I will NOT cry. _

But it was too late. I, tough-as-nails, punch-throwing, she-put-a-fish-in-my-locker Sam Puckket, was crying. Over a dork.

But he wasn't just any dork. He was Freddork. Fredweird.

_Oh my god, _I thought. _Those are pet names. Nicknames. Like, for someone you like. Ewww. I like him. _

But it wasn't ew. It was Freddie. And I liked him, and I always thought that he would be the last person to hurt me, ever. But he had.

I wanted revenge. But there was nothing big enough to hurt him as much as he had hurt me.


	15. Sam's Hiding Spot

**Carly's POV**

Sam didn't show up for iCalry rehearsals on Friday afternoon, and when I called her house, no one answered. She didn't come for iCarly, either, which meant Freddie had to stand in for her, while Spencer did the camera work. When she wasn't in school on Monday, I called Spencer and told him I was going to be home late.

Sam lives with her mom in a little brown house by the Space Needle.I found her mom outside, trying to grow The World's Biggest Weeds in her garden. Ms. Puckket is a little strange, but she's a very nice lady, and let me into the house.

I found her in her room. Well, I didn't actually find Sam. Instead, all I saw were books and clothes strewn all over the room, and a large bookcase propped up against the bed. Sam was under the shelves with a blanket under her head. This was not the Sam I knew.

"Sam?" I called. I crawled down under the bookcase and huddled down with her. "What's up? Are you mad at me?"

"No," Sam grumbled.

"Then what is it?" I asked, "Why weren't you there for iCarly yesterday?"

"No reason. I just didn't want to come, all right?"

"But you love iCarly!" I insisted, "You've never missed a show before."

"Well, I would have gone, but apparently my existence makes Freddie's life miserable."

I looked at her like she was crazy. "But you love harassing Freddie!"

"Yeah, _harassing _him. But I didn't think he really hated me. I just thought I annoyed him."

I still had no idea what she was talking about. "What?"

"You! Gibby! By the lockers, before school on Friday! He doesn't like me! He never did! The kisses. the lobster, everything...it was all a joke. He was just messing with my head."

For a moment, she looked mortified, like she had just let her biggest secret slip (and she had). But then she just started to cry.

I didn't know what to tell her. "I don't know what to tell you."

"Whatever," she said, "See you tomorrow."

I took that as my signal to get out before she pounded me. So I did. I left. And I went straight to Freddie's house.


	16. Carly's Big Mouth

**No POV**

Carly ran home as fast as she could. She didn't even waste time waiting for the elevator. Instead, she just ran up the stairs and started pounding on the Benson's door.

"Freddie!" She yelled, "Freddie, get out here NOW!"

Freddie came and opened the door. "Um..hi."

"What the heck were you THINKING?"

He just looked at her for a moment. "What?"

Carly took him by the wrist and took him into her apartment, slamming the door behind them. "You hurt Sam. She's destroyed her room, she won't come out from under the bed, and her mom says she hasn't had a piece of ham in three days. Why would you say you hate her? I've never seen her this upset, and it's all your fault. You've hurt her so badly that she can't even think of a way for revenge serious enough!"

Freddie was still confused. "Once again...WHAT?"

"Sam overheard Gibby tell me that you told him that you hated Sam."

"I never said I hated Sam!"

"Well then why would Gibby say you did?"

He took a deep breath in. "Gibby put a love note in Sam's locker as a joke. She sent me to meet him, and, by the way, made me wear a dress--"

Carly started to laugh.

"Shut up! Any way, Gibby told me that Spencer told you and you told him that Sam and I kissed, which we did. And we do like each other, but we were trying to keep it a secret, so I asked Gibby to pretend he didn't know anything. But, I guess, when he talked to you, he decided to tell a lie to cover it up, and now Sam thinks I hate her, even though I don't."

Carly and Freddie sat down on the couch. "So what should we do?" Carly asked.

They both sat for a few minutes, thinking. Then, Freddie got a look on his face. He was angry. Really, really angry.

"This is all your fault, Carly!" He exclaimed.

"WHAT? How is this my fault? If it's anyone's fault, it's Gibby's fault."

"Gibby wouldn't even be a factor if you'd kept your big mouth shut!"

"Well I wouldn't have know about anything if Spencer didn't listen to everything his socks tell him!" Carly yelled.

"Well maybe YOU shouldn't listen to.." Freddie paused. "What?"

"He said he felt it in his socks."

_Sometimes I don't know why I hang out with these people. _Freddie thought.

"Look," Freddie said, "No matter whose fault it is...and I still think it's yours--"

"Not helping."

"Ok, well, anyway, we need to get Sam back. For you, for iCarly, and...for me."

Freddie couldn't look Carly in the eye for the end of the sentence. He knew how he felt about Sam. But it was so...strange.

Carly saw right through him.

"Don't worry, Price Charming," Carly said, "We'll find the glass slipper."

"What?"

Carly rolled her eyes. "We'll get Sam back. Come on, let's just think of a plan."


	17. Sam's Inner Monologue

A/N: I can't believe I didn't say this before, but I don't own iCarly. However, my half birthday is right around the corner, so if anyone is looking to get me present...LOL

The song Sam is listening to is called "Anyway" and is an original song. Please tell me if you like it.

Two days later, Sam was still in her little cave, hiding from the world. She was listening to her PearPod so loud that her mom could hear it from her garden.

**I've gone away**

**And I've gone to stay**

**You've made it clear**

**That you don't want me there**

**An-y-way **

_I hate him. I absolutely hate him. I never really hated him before. It was all jokes. Teasing. Just picking on him about little things, like his tech stuff and how he likes to read for fun. Light punches. The occasional fish stuffed into his locker. It was all fun...at least in my mind. _

**Maybe it's just me **

**Maybe I drove you away**

**But it's okay **

**Either way**

**I don't need you**

**An-y-way **

_I guess he just didn't get it. But to say he hated me...real, true hate...it's just so awful. Especially after all of the things that happened. The kiss. Going to Groovy Smoothie, just the two of us. Maybe it was all in my imagination. Maybe he's always felt this way, or maybe I just pushed him over the edge. But he led me to think he liked me. _

_And now, I know I like him. Maybe I always have. Still, I've always complained about him, and pushed him away. Now, though I want him. just as he's finally...disposing of me. _

**So I'll just say goodbye**

**So you can get on with your life**

**I can open all the curtains **

**On a brand-new day**

**I don't mind being alone**

**An-y-way **

_Plus, I'm probably going to lose Carly, too. After all, they share a hallway, and I live on the other side of Seattle. Sure, we'll pass by each other at school, but that's it. No more waking up Spencer in the middle of the night. No more harassing the drive-through guy. Worst of all, no more iCarly. I just can't be in the same room with him. _

**I dug the hole**

**And you pushed me in **

**I guess you win**

**And that's all okay**

**Cause I don't want to love you**

**An-y-way **

_I hate him, I hate him, I hate him! Or, at least I wish I did. _


	18. Freddie's Really Bad Poem

A/N: I don't own iCarly. Shame, really. Read and review! 

**Freddie's POV**

Sam finally showed up at school on Thursday, but she never came to her locker, and sat next to Cornucopia Love during English (our only class together). That period is when I came up with The Plan. So I headed home after school to work on it.

Around dinner time I knocked on Carly's door.

"Hey, Freddie."

"Hey, Carly. Guess what?" I asked, "I have a plan."

"Great," she replied, "What is it?"

I pushed a piece of paper in front of her face. "I wrote Sam a poem!"

Carly read it, staring intently at the paper. Her lips mouthed some of the words, and the look in her eyes slowly grew uneasy as she read.

_I do not hate Sam_

_If fact, I like her like she likes ham_

_She smells like strawberry jam_

_She's like a pearl from a giant clam _

_Sometimes she tells kids to scram_

_And she closes her locker with a slam _

_I'll help her with her final exam_

_Because in love with Sam_

_I am _

"Oh, my god," Carly said.

"Do you like it?" I asked, enthusiastically.

She looked at me for a moment. "This is the worst poem anyone has ever written."

"Oh."

"She's gonna love it!"


	19. Freddie's Great Big Embarrassing Apology

**Carly's POV**

Friday is the day we do iCarly, and this particular Friday, it was also the day Freddie and I were going to go through with the plan. Step 1: Get Sam to do the show with us.

"Hey Sam!" I said.

"Hi." She said, with no enthusiasm.

"I was just calling to ask if you wanted to have dinner at my house before we do iCarly?"

"I'm not doing iCarly tonight."

"What?" I exclaimed, "You have to do iCarly! I can't do it without you!"

"Why can't Spencer do it tonight?" She moaned, "I don't wanna."

"I asked him, but he said his inner artist is in the zone! Apparently, taking time away from his new sculpture of a giant golf club dressed as a bear dressed as a clown would 'harsh his groove'"

This was a lie. I hadn't asked Spencer to step in for Sam, and he was actually procrastinating about his art piece.

"Fine," Sam grumbled, "I'll come."

"Yay!" I exclaimed.

"Ugh."

**Freddie's POV **

Step 2: The show must go on

The camera was on and ready to go. My computer screen showed me Carly, with a totally fake look of joy on her face, and Sam, who refused to look at the camera--because that would mean looking at me. I could almost hear my mother's voice scolding me, "_Fredward Benson! Have I not taught you well enough to not break the hearts of emotionally fragile girls? Shame on you! You're getting an extra-long tick bath tonight, young man." _I shuddered at the thought.

"And we're on in five, four, three, two.."

"Hello, people of Earth who are watching iCarly! This is iCarly. She's Sam..."

Sam didn't do her part.

"And that's Grumpy! Since Sam is not going to be any fun tonight, we'll start off with one of our favorite segments, Messin' With Lubert!"

Sam pressed the button on her remote.

"So," Carly continued, "We've ordered a pizza to be sent to the crazy man who works in the lobby. But this time, Freddie's requested a special, secret topping! We don't know what it is..."

Sam played along. "You don't know what it is...."

"So let's see what our secret topping is!"

The special topping was gym socks. Lubert threw the pizza at the delivery guy, and then I put a picture of a llama eating a pie up on the screen while Carly gave the guy a big tip.

"And now," Carly said, dramatically, "We are going to introduce a new segment! Today, for the first time, we'll be featuring Freddie, reciting an original poem. Come on out, Freddie!"

By this time, there was a large armchair in front of the camera, and I was wearing a ridiculous costume. I had a thick red robe with a gold tie around the waist, and Spencer had looked through his boxes of junk to find a pipe. I looked like Alistair Cooke from those old Masterpiece Theater shows on PBS.

Carly ushered Sam out of the way, and I sat down in the chair. I took a puff from the pipe, which Spencer had outfitted with dry ice for a very realistic smoke effect, and began my little speech.

**Sam's POV **

Before he even started talking, I was very entertained. Even though I refused to show it, I was laughing on the inside. He looked so stupid. Plus, I'd heard his original poetry before _(_I quote_,"I have a dog, he's not a frog, If he was, he'd live on a log.)_, and it was awful. He was totally embarrassing himself, and I didn't have to do a thing. Life was sweet.

"I wrote this poem," he began, "To express deep feelings that lie within me. My muse called, and I answered. Actually, my muse refused to talk to me, but I answered anyway."

The poem went like this:

_I do not hate Sam_

_If fact, I like her like she likes ham_

_She smells like strawberry jam_

_She's like a pearl from a giant clam_

_Sometimes she tells kids to scram_

_And she closes her locker with a slam_

_I'll help her with her final exam_

_Because in love with Sam_

_I am _

Freddie had just embarrassed himself in front of all of the iCarly viewers to apologize to me, like I had done for him. My jaw dropped. My stomach tied itself up in knots. My hear started racing, my ears started ringing, and for a second, the whole world stopped. And then, as I remember it, I absolutely, positively, DIED.


	20. iCarly's First Awkward Silence Ever

**Freddie's POV**

That was it. She was going to kill me. My life was officially over. Please, give my camera to Carly and my cloud block to Gibby, and that bra Sam made me build to my mom.

She was just looking at me blankly. No reaction, nothing. I could almost see the gears turning in her head..._How do I get back at Freddie? _I just wished she would say something, anything. Maybe she didn't love me, but you would think there would be some reaction either way.

But she just stood there. I thought I was going to barf.

**Carly's POV **

If I could have wished for anything at that exact moment, it would have been for Sam and Freddie to see the looks on their faces. Freddie looked a lot like he did right after Sam barged into my apartment, handcuffed to Gibby. I wondered if I should go downstairs and get a pot for him to throw up in.

And then there was Sam. She was pale. It was like she had died of embarrassment. Her mouth was open, but she said nothing. No reaction whatsoever. Maybe I had been wrong. Maybe she didn't love him. And if she didn't....I was going to be in so much trouble.

**Sam's POV **

It was the perfect moment. Freddie loved me back, he was making a fool out of himself because of it, and thousands of people all over the country were witnesses to it. So why couldn't I move? It was like I was so happy I couldn't feel anything. But after a minute, I could see the panic in Freddie's eyes, and since I knew Carly was behind this whole thing, I had to do something.

And then, I knew just what to do.


	21. iCarly's Best Show Ever

**Carly's POV**

It was like in the movies, where everything is in slow motion, but then they speed it back up again out of the blue. One moment, they were looking at each other, and I was looking at them, but then--

Wait, back up.

There were over ten thousand people watching iCarly at that exact moment. It must have been very entertaining, because more and more people were logging on each second. The artistic hammering from Spencer had stopped. And what should probably have been a very private moment...well, it wasn't.

Sam stepped forward. She was looking right at him, and was breathing very, very deeply. She took a sideways glance at the camera. I could almost see the gears turning in her head.

**Freddie's POV **

_Maybe she won't kill me. Maybe she'll just stand there, forever, not knowing what to do. _

_Or, maybe she's just wondering where she can find a chain saw for her Freddie-driven massacre. _

**Spencer's POV**

I was watching the broadcast of iCarly from the computer downstairs. Carly had said something big was going to happen, but I hadn't expected this!

_All right, _I thought. _Now I can finish my statue. _

**Sam's POV**

I could not believe what had just happened. On one hand, I was so happy. He loved me, he really loved me!

But enough with the girly junk. Now everybody would know! Not just Carly, or Spencer, but all of the kids and school, too. Principal Franklin. Miss Briggs. That guy at the market who gives me ideas on what new gross thing to put in Freddie's locker.

Oh my god. Mrs. Benson was watching this. What was she going to say? She hates me.

But there was nothing I could do about that now. So I ran.

**Carly's POV **

And then, she ran. It was like there was a collective gasp from the entire iCarly audience. She ran towards him and grabbed him and kissed him right then and there, in front of everybody.

The kiss seemed to take forever. I couldn't decide if it was sweet, or if I was grossed out.

"So you love me?" Freddie asked when they had pulled apart.

Sam hit him. "No kidding, Sherlock."

"Yay!" I whispered.

Spencer shouted at us from downstairs. "All right!"

I looked at the iCarly web page. Comments were already pouring in.

_Well, I didn't see _that _coming! _-- NovemberDreamer

_Great! Now my BFF owes me ten bucks. _-- Omi-The-Squirrel-Hater

_Awww! Oh, I'm just so happy! _-- Seddie4Ever123

_Yay! But it took you long enough..._--seddie4evaXD

At that point, it was time to close out the show. "Well, that's a wrap. I'm Carly, and this has been another very...interesting episode of iCarly. See you next week, where we try to get through the show without having to embarrass ourselves (or each other)."

***

My name is Carly Shay...and, iKnew it!


End file.
